eating for two

Today I’m eating for me of course, but I’m also eating for Wayne.   Wayne is…was my often partner at the San Francisco company where I do a lot of freelance remotely.   His last day is Friday.  Since I just can’t bring myself to fly 6000 miles to attend his going away lunch,  Wayne and I decide I’ll eat a bunch of French stuff for him over here and chronicle the deliciousness.  So I take a stroll through the Antibes Marche Provencal to find some goodies.

I start by raising a mojito macaron to Wayne’s new job.   It’s surprisingly good–tart but sweet with a subtle whoosh of mint.   Damn, I’ll have another.   Oh, make that four.   It’s for Wayne.

Wayne is experiencing a bit of a sugar rush so I race past all the gorgeous fruit and vegetables (you can get them anywhere) towards the Socca oven that’s up and burning at the other end of the Marche.   Yes, Wayne must have a socca.   It’s distinctly from this part of the world!   Socca is basically a crepe made from chickpea flour, water, olive oil and salt and it’s much better than it has a right to be, especially with a healthy shot of black pepper.   It’s a specialty of Southeast France and the Ligurian Coast of Italy.   It’s like a tidy falafel.    It’s a particularly good choice if Wayne happens to be on a gluten-free diet.

Next up, the Grande Aioli lunch.   Very South of France.   Very traditional.   It’s basically boiled cod and vegetables with an aoili dipping sauce.     It would be very healthy if Wayne didn’t insist on slathering it with the aioli.

Now I figure Wayne could go for something sweet, so I pick up a pack of the nougat that is popular here and in Provence.   I get the multi-flavored assortment to try all the nougaty essences.   It’s sort of a sophisticated version of Turkish taffy.    While there’s a similarity, it’s not as sweet and much more, as the package says, “tendre”.   Also, the flavors are more subtle and natural tasting.   The roasted almonds are a nice touch.   I get another pack for Wayne to enjoy later.

As I make my way out of the marche, all the people selling cheeses, olives and tapenades invite me to sample their wares.   I’m kind of full, but it’s a good opportunity for Wayne to try a lot of delicious Provencal products for free.  He particularly enjoys the the sundried tomato,caper, anchovies, basil, garlic tapenade and the brebis cheese.

As I stagger food-drunk through the old town, I make my customary stop at the window of the bakery and ogle the michettes.  Only today, I go inside and order an assortment.   For Wayne.   They’re yeasty little rolls filled with all kinds of savory things.   Onions, saucisses, chorizo, tuna, spinach, ratatouille, several varieties of cheese, etc, etc.   You could definitely make a well-balanced meal out of them.   The chorizo and chevre ones are particularly good.

I’m not sure if it’s me or Wayne, but one of us is starting to feel a little sick and needs to lie down.    On the way home, I can’t help noticing a beautiful little cake in the window of another bakery.

I start thinking that we really haven’t had any fruit and this cake is full of fresh strawberries.    On the other hand, it’s a little pricey, I’m pretty stuffed, and I think I’ve fulfilled my going away lunch commitment.   But it looks so delicious.

Then it hits me.    I think Wayne’s birthday is coming up.   So I buy it.   Anything for Wayne.

macarons I have known and loved

My love affair with macarons began on a rainy afternoon in Paris four years ago.   It was a chocolate macaron at Dalloyau that was so perfect, so dark, so rich I became obsessed.   I would only eat the chocolate ones for fear of being disappointed by a lesser flavor.

When I moved back to California, I tried to substitute them with cupcakes, but quickly grew bored.   I tried desperately (sometimes on a daily basis) to recreate the perfection of that chocolate macaron in my kitchen, and failed miserably every time.   Now that I think about it, I really had no choice but to move back to France.

When I returned, I vowed to try every flavor.   I figured that given all the macaron colors I’ve seen in Paris patisseries, it will take awhile before I get to the flavors that sound really disgusting to me (fois gras, for example)

One thing I learned quickly is that the assortment of flavors of macarons you can find in a particular village or ville is directly proportionate to the number of people who live there or visit.   Vidauban, with a population of approximately 10,000 really offers a selection of six flavors:   chocolate, pistachio, lemon, vanilla, coffee and strawberry.   After sampling all Vidabuan has to offer, I began to travel further afield to broaden my horizons.

Once again, it’s in Paris where I’m able to rediscover that total bliss I experienced with that first chocolate macaron, not once, but twice in one day:   First, by the Bon Marche food hall, La Grande Epicerie Paris (how I love that place) rhubarb and vanilla macaron…OhMyGod…and later that day by Laduree‘s caramel beurre de sale…OHMYGOD…   The Laduree Cherry/almond macaron is a close third.

I’m partial to the macarons that don’t have jam fillings.   I prefer something creamier like ganache, nougat or caramel.   Jam seems so common, like someone grabbed a jar of Smuckers and slathered it on.   Even a curd or paste will do.

A quick note toLaduree:   Yes, your store is beautiful.   Yes, your macarons and packaging are to die for.   But why can’t I take a picture in your store?   It’s not like you’re the freaking pentagon, for godsakes.

A note to places who sell very expensive macarons and yet when you buy four, they get shoved into a little prissy bag that will get your macarons crushed if you were to carry them any distance: put ‘em in a box!!!!   I’m talking to you, Jean Luc Pele.   Do you think these flimsy bags are going to get these macarons from Cannes to Antibes unscathed?   And while we’re at it, Laduree, anybody who spends 10 euros on four macarons deserves a box, carrying case or jeweled encrusted chest with built in refrigeration.

There are two macarons vendors with excellent selections in Antibes who concoct these nifty little carrying cases from the larger casings.   I want to bedazzle one, put a strap on it and carry it everywhere so I’m always prepared for an unexpected patisserie event.

So far, here are the macarons I’ve tried and a review of whether or not the flavor works for me in macaron form or not.  Basically they fall into 4 categories.

• ****OMG i will spend the rest of my life trying to recreate this experience.
• ***this is really good.   I’m not obsessed, but I will want to have another..
• **Good.   Been there done that.
• *Ewww, this is disgusting.

***lemon (citron)   I have yet to have a citron macaron I didn’t like.

***mandarine  I feared it might taste like cough medicine, but it was pretty dang good.   I’m not obsessed, but I’ll definitely have another.

***yuzu   Very good.   Citrusy with this tantalizing whiff of something good.   A rare example of a slightly perfume-y flavor agreeing with my taste buds.

**bergamot   Bergamot is weird.   It’s a citrus, but it’s more perfumey that it is citrusy.   Twice I’ve had a bergamot macaron and promptly forgot what it tasted like.

***chocolate   What’s not to like?

****rhubarb vanilla:   There it was behind the counter at Bon Marche epicierie.   It wasn’t the brightest macaron, but something about it spoke to me.   One bite and it was all over for me.   Bliss.   Perfect combo of sweet/tarte/creamy/crunchy.   I may never see another rhubarb vanilla macaron, but I’ll always remember the brief time I had one.   I’ll live my life as it never happened but deep in my heart, around every street corner, in every window a vague wish will flicker through my heart — that another rhubarb vanilla macaron will be there, waiting for me.

***chocolate noir  What’s not to like?

****caramel beurre de salle I pledge thee my troth.

***coffee (cafe):   Come to think of it, maybe it’s only two stars.   Oh I don’t know.   It just seems unsophisticated to not like the coffee flavored one.   Whatevs.

**lime (citron vert):   maybe it was the patisserie (Jean Luc de whatshiznosis cannes)

**mint (menthe):   It’s kind of a two and a half.   I’ve had one I loved and one that was okay.   The one I loved will induce me to get another.   I won’t take it over a beurre de salle or even ginger, but it’s not bad.

**vanilla   good, but I don’t really need to have another unless someone tells me that so and so makes the most delicious one in the whole wide world.   Or they add rhubard.

**strawberry (fraise)

****cherry almond (griotte amande):   Oh laduree, I will put up with your slightly snippy sales girls and high prices for little miracles like this.

***pistachio (pistache) Anything pistachio is good.   But when you get right down to it (and I’ve given this a great deal of thought), I’d rather have pistachio ice cream than a pistachio macaron.

**cherry (cerise)

**chocolate banana

**cassis

**champagne   Here’s the thing.   It tasted more like roses than champagne.   I don’t like eating flowers, so it’s not my favorite.   But I wonder if he gave me the wrong one?   It’s really pretty pink with a slight golden glow.   May have to try again.   I like champagne.   I even like roses, i just don’t like eating them.

***gingerbread (pain d’epices)  This is really good.   Like three and a half stars good.   Kind of like a pumpkin pie only better.  Really, really, really good.   I wonder if the store is still open….

**raspberry (framboise)

**blackberry (mure)

***passionfruit chocolate   I’m not sure if I like it or hate it.   It’s intriguing, possibly because I both love it and hate it.   I might have to try another one someday just to figure it out.

***amaretto Nice and almondy.

***bitter orange (orange amere) Much better than I expected.   Delicious, in fact.

***nutella I’m not a huge nutella fan, but these are good!

***peanut (cacahuette) these will be my replacement for Reeses peanut butter cups, when I get a craving.   Do you know how hard it is to find anything peanut butter related over here?

goody bags from cannes

I’ve been to Cannes once many years ago and frankly, I wasn’t all that impressed.   So even though I’m only about 50 minutes away, I haven’t been compelled to pay a second visit.   But it’s the Cannes film festival and I’d have to be some sort of full fledged agoraphobic (as opposed to the partial agoraphobic I am) to not go check it out.

The train ride is lovely.  After 15 minutes of riding through rolling hills , medieval villages perched on hills and vineyards, the train gets to the ocean, which is a deep teal blue, offset by coves and rocky outcroppings (slate/green and terracotta colors) and medieval villages clustered in coves along the shore.

There are armed police and military officers, all over the Gare de Cannes,  but other than that everything looks pretty normal.

The streets near the station are pleasant and almost Provencal, except for an occasional person with the tell-tale identity tag hanging around their neck rushing  by, cellphone clutched in white knuckled hand.  I figure they’re crew members, bloggers or actually working the festival or they’d be in limos or staying in a lavish hotel on the Croisette.

Once you hit the Rue d’Antibes, you’re in the Cannes zone.  From then on, it’s a bunch of fancy stores and restaurants that cater to “les trou du culs’ as one shop person put it. Up until now, I haven’t seen ONE Sephora in France, even in Paris.   In Cannes, there are two.   I know that says something deep and significant about the people who come to Cannes, but how can I concentrate when…ooooh, look!   Shiny!I watch an American woman drool to her significant other over a 350 Euro pair of flip flops in a window that look just like my $2.00 party flip flops I got at Old Navy except they have a Hugo Boss logo on them. which makes them worth 348.59 Euros more (approximately $495 US  as of today), apparently.   I’m starting to feel a little self conscious about my ON (Old Navy sounds classier as an acronym, don’t you think?) flip flops.

It appears that men over 5’7″ are not allowed in Cannes… (unless they’re locals on their way to their jobs serving men who are all 5’7″ or shorter).   They’re usually accompanied by woman teetering down the streets in their designer clown stilts preceded by their lips, boobs and an unpleasant whiff of eau de trying too hard.   It looks like a convention of Real Housewives here.

I know I’m getting near the Croisette by the shiny black cars lined up, security guards standing at attention, photographers and peasants lined up to look at anything that happens to be behind a barricade (especially if a red carpet is back there somewhere).Here, everyone is either speaking English or Italian, car horns are honking, photographers are everywhere.

I stand with the crowd, curious as to who might emerge from those guarded doors Then it hits me;  I’m in arguably one of the most beautiful strips of land in the world, and I’m looking at someone’s head who’s looking at someone else’s head who’s looking at someone else’s head who’s trying to get a glimpse of someone else’s head.

An hour or so later, I pry myself away from the still waiting crowd and cross the street.  Looking back several in case Johnny, Brangelina or whoever aren’t finally making their entrance.

But when I get to the beach side of the street, I only get glimpses of the water, sand or even the view because of all the tents, posters and crap blocking the view.  It kind of reminds me of Waikiki.  Or Waikiki Disney.   I wonder if Cannes gets this crazy when hosting a Dental Convention?   Do they plaster the Carlton Hotel (which is actually a very cool old building) with pictures of famous dentists?

Do poseur dentists wander the streets of this Americanized version of a quaint Mediterranean town and buy ridiculous stuff they can get anywhere at a higher price here just so they can say they got it in Cannes?

I find a nice stretch of blocked off road and stroll up the Croisette towards the castle, past the Palais des Festivals to get a look at the coast, which is stunning. Some photographers are snapping pictures of somebody launching a yacht for somewhere.   Pigs!   My iphone can’t get a clear picture of whoever it is from this distance.

I retreat to the quieter backstreets and find lunch for under 15 Euro (I’m splurging, it’s Cannes, forgodsakes).    I order aile de raie with lemon, butter and capers because I’ll eat anything with lemon, butter and capers.   It’s not the best aile de raie I’ve ever had, but it’s not bad with the lemon, capers and butter, and not at any point during the meal do I consider the possibility that the chef may be trying to poison me–always a plus.

After lunch, I stumble upon a macaron store.  Not a patisserie with a few macaron flavors, a macaron store.   This is the biggest assortment of macarons I’ve ever seen outside of Paris.     It even has ridiculous fois gras flavors (I’m sorry, that’s just wrong!!!).   And some of them have some kind of shiny almost glittery substance in the meringue portion of the cookie which in my opinion is gilding the lily.   But who cares?    They have the coveted beurre de sale (salted caramel), a flavor that has thus far has eluded me everywhere except Paris.   You know that feeling when you’re falling in love and you’re having this perfect moment that you never want to end?  Eating a properly made beurre de sale macaron is like that.   I also get a chocolate one, which is my “go to” flavor.   These two little gems will be my rewards when I get home.

Ooooh, they also have my favorite tea.   It’s ridiculously expensive, but it’ll really top off the macarons.

On my way back to the train station I find Maison du Chocolate tucked away in a quiet little spot off Rue d’Antibes and discover some of the biggest chocolate covered orange peels I’ve ever seen.  Not grotesque big, mind you.   That would be…well, grotesque.   Instead of twigs these are about 1/6 an orange peel each.

One of the many beauties of chocolate covered orange rinds is you can tell yourself they’re healthy.   Did you know the rind is where most of the nutrients are in an orange?  It’s the ultimate in being environmentally friendly by reducing waste, since what else was anyone on going to do with those orange peels?   They would have just become landfill.    So I pick up a couple of those in the name of sustainability.    Now I really can’t wait to get home.

The return trip is a little tense only because I have to be careful not to crush my delicate treasures.

So here I am, back in Vidauban.   I’m sipping my freshly brewed Mariage Freres Yuzu Temple tea with my Maison du Chocolate orange rind and Jean Luc Pele macarons, I ponder Cannes and the shallow, label loving, acquisitive, pleasure seeking hedonists who seem to gravitate to it.   I really don’t like the place at all.

I bite into the beurre de sale macaron and my eyes roll back in pure bliss.

I wonder if I’ll have time go back to Cannes later this week.

a civilized afternoon tea

The plan for the day is to lay low, watch Jon Stewart reruns on the internet followed by a nap and a civilized afternoon cup of tea.    Which requires a pastry, of course.   I’m totally excited.

In order to put my plan into action, I must visit the patisserie.  I’m getting the same heady rush I used to get when I went to Barneys with a loaded credit card.

But when I reach the bakery, I see it’s dark and there’s a note on the door.   They’re taking the day off.   Merde!   I feel as though I’ve been punched in the stomach. This seems like a personal assault. My fabulous plans ruined by the snotty French bitches who run the bakery. I bet they closed for vacation just to spite me.   The injustice of it all washes over me in a tide of unspeakable woe.   It starts to rain and I look up to the heavens, cursing the powers that have thwarted my plans.     I want to collapse in a puddle of tears.   But I pull myself together.   I don’t need them.   I’ll show them.   I resolutely head towards the train tracks.

My gut says Pontoise is my best bet.   They’ve got patisseries up the wazzoo.

The monitor tells me the next train arrives in 28 minutes. Damn! Why am I constantly thwarted! In 28 minutes I could loose my nerve and go back home. I pace the platform. I stroll out into the parking lot. I study the railway map and schedules posted, I curse my fate.

Finally, the listing on the monitor flashes “l’approche”. Ten minutes later, I’m in Pontoise, studying the offerings at the Patisserie near the train station. I’m almost giddy with relief. Which makes choosing from the lavish selection all the more difficult. I’m a little gun shy after my recent Fraisette disaster, and realize that this decision could impact the rest of my pastry tasting career.

My eye keeps returning to the “assiette” which is a plate with an assortment of 8 little pastries for 6.50 Euros. No, I can’t. The average pastry is about E2.50, so spending E6.50 is outrageously self-indulgent and decadent. On the other hand, I’ve suffered immensely. Don’t I deserve a little extra something? And getting the assiette eliminates the risk of total disappointment. I’m positive there are at least four pastries there I’ll actually like. Also, if I divide the number of pastries I get into the cost, it’s actually way more cost efficient to buy the assiette. And lets not forget that I’m eating pastry for humanitarian purposes, after all. That clinches it.

For the sake of mankind I order the assiette s’il vous plait. Any guilt I may be feeling is overwhelmed by a pavlovian rush of endorphins. I tuck the box under my arm protectively and hurry back to the train station like an addict rushing home to cook up a fix. It’ll be so civilized. A nice cup of tea and a pastry tasting.

But when I get to the station, I’m thwarted again! 31 minutes until the next train to Auvers. I feel my rage building again, until I remember my precious cargo. Maybe I’ll have just one while I’m waiting.

I consider the options carefully. A tart is a no brainer, I know I’ll like it. On the other hand, something chocolatey might be in order. But there are only two chocolatey things, and I don’t want to waste one of them on a train platform.

The yellow one and the green glazed éclair with chocolate sprinkles are out, I’ve never tried either, so all my concentration will be required. The trick is to make sure a representative sample of all flavors remains when I get back to Auvers and am able to try them in an appropriate setting. Finally I settle on the strawberry tart.

I take a bite and I’m sure my eyes are rolling back in my head orgasmically. This is perfection. The cream is thick and slightly lemony and juuuuuuust right. The crust has a hint of almond in it and is perfect buttery flakey consistency. The Strawberries are more delicious than any strawberry I remember and the pistachio adds just the right kick. This has got to be better than sex.

As the taste wears off, I almost wish I could burp so I can taste it again.   I begin to worry. What if the other pastries in the box aren’t as good as this one? I don’t think I can take any more disappointment. I open the box and look at them. There’s no doubt about it…the lemon puffy one will definitely be as good as the strawberry tart. I definitely have that one to look forward to. So I might as well eat the Kiwi tart since I know what a tart tastes like and I don’t love Kiwis. I might as well get it out of the way.

The kiwi tarte isn’t as good as the strawberry, but it’s still delicious.

But now I want something chocolatey. 15 minutes until the next train. Maybe the chocolate choux looking thing. I’ve had a choux before so maybe it won’t require all my concentration. It’s light, with a slighty crisp, buttery shell. Two shells, the smaller one on top, both filled with a dense chocolate creamy custard filling. The beautiful frosting on top is almost overkill.  I think the pleasure is giving me blackouts because it seems like hours have passed, but when I check the monitor, it’s only been two minutes.

What will I do for the next 13 minutes? I might as well eat the raspberry tart. I’ve had a gazillion. I don’t need a tea ceremony for a raspberry tart. Would it be over dramatizing to say these raspberries are gifts from God?

Looking at the remaining chocolate pastry, I begin to worry that it needs refrigeration. God forbid it should go to waste, so I eat it immediately to save it. It’s something between a truffle, custard and ganache. With a cherry on top. Chocolate rushes through my veins. I leap up to check the monitor again…10 freaking minutes…I’d pace or jump up and down, but I don’t want to disturb the pastry.

Maybe I’ll have just one more. The Salumbo (the green éclair) is delicious, creamy and a delicate mélange of vanilla, pistachio with a slight crunch of chocolate. Pure heaven.

I decide it’s okay to eat the tan colored pastries since it’s not a very appetizing color. The cafe éclair is as light and creamy as tiramisu.

The one with powdered sugar and almond slices is filled with a dense, but very light hazelnut filling and the shell has just the right crisp to it. The French would describe it as “tendre.”

Finally the l’approche sign flashes and I jump up and race for the edge of the platform to watch the train roll in. I jump up and down in anticipation until I remember my pastry. I fearfully open the box and notice a ding in the one pastry left…the yellow one. Shoot, it’s ruined. Might as well eat it now.

As my teeth sink into it, my brain short circuits with pleasure…creamy…lemony…creamy…lemony…custardy…

I don’t remember getting on the train.  I get off at Auvers carrying an empty box and a smile.    Just in time for tea.

***

Embarking on a life of crime (how I went to Paris and fell in love…with French Pastry)

Lesley’s pastry guide (my useful guide to French Pastry, a work in progress)