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the dark side of living in the south of france

Reading over past posts, it occurs to me that it may seem that I’m all content and blissful now that I’m living in the South of France.  I tend to talk about the wonderful food, the beautiful views, the charming villages.   That has got to stop!    I was raised to believe that the moment I appear to be happy, vengeful gods (and humans) will become envious and smite me.

So, in case any of those mean old dieties/people are reading my blog, here are a few things that make  it impossible for me to live free from the shadow of rage/helplessness/hopelessness/misery hanging over me and will prevent me from ever having a day of peace.

  • Waiting in lines.  French people will chat away with the cashier/postal worker/butcher/baker/candlestick maker with absolutely no concept of how many people are waiting behind them.   I’ve seen lines outside bakeries here that resembled apple stores on iPad2 launch day.
  • Lots of loud motorbikes.  Don’t know why, they’re louder here.   Why would anyone want to drive something that loud?   They should be banished.   I’m certain that the drivers of these audio monstrosities are compensating for something.   Maybe they have tiny voices or something.
  • So many people here have no grasp of the English language.   To be fair, I found the same problem in California.
  • The guy at the Marche Provencal who sells roses.   NO I DON”T WANT TO BUY YOUR DAMN ROSES!!!!!   IF I DO I’LL LET YOU KNOW.  STOP BUGGING ME!!!!
  • Speaking of being bugged, they have telemarketers over here too and they call every bit as often (about 5 calls a day).   The good news is, I just say “je ne comprends pas” and hang up.   I guess I could have done that in the US too.   Live and learn.
  • There’s dust here.   It’s like every time I dust, five minutes later, there’s new dust.
  • I just spent 10 Euro on a lightbulb only to discover the lamp doesn’t work.
  • I just spent 10 Euro on a lightbulb.
  • I forgot to buy milk at the grocery store.
  • my cat just threw up on the clean sheets.

5 Responses

  1. It’s not the dark side of France. You just got up on the wrong side of bed!

  2. Except for the motorbikes.

  3. really reaching there at the end…. just wait til i get to beijing (bought a one way yesterday!). i bet my list beats yours! 🙂

    • The thing I feel most ashamed of is that I yelled at my cat for throwing up. In English!
      I’m sure Beijing will elicit the kind of list that will fill me with comedy envy. Now THAT’S brave. Maybe I’ll become competitive and move to Yemen.

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